Anonymous asked: Why is it that asexuals end up still having sex, watching porn, and masturbating? I've heard that they have sex to please their partner but what about masturbation? How can I explain to other people that asexuals =/= sex repulsed?
Well, some asexuals are sex repulsed and that’s not a bad thing, but you’re right that some asexual people are not sex repulsed.
For asexual people who still have sex or watch porn or masturbate, there’s a lot of reasons, pleasing their partner being one of them, and everyone has their own reason as to why. Asexuality isn’t necessarily a lack of libido/sex drive (it can be but isn’t always), it’s just a lack of attraction to other people. You can have sex with people you aren’t attracted to. You can masturbate without being attracted to anybody, or watch porn even if you aren’t attracted to any of the actors.
So asexual people can do sexual things, they’re just not experiencing sexual attraction while they do so. That’s the difference.
Hey everyone! As you may know, Dan Savage recently gave a speech at the University of Chicago after being invited by the college to give a lecture on It Gets Better (for white cis men). During the speech, Dan Savage (in tandem with UChicago’s Institute of Politics) used…
[M]en come to me or to other feminists and say: “What you’re saying about men isn’t true. It isn’t true of me. I don’t feel that way. I’m opposed to all of this.” And I say: don’t tell me. Tell the pornographers.
Tell the pimps. Tell the warmakers. Tell the rape apologists and the rape celebrationists and the pro-rape ideologues. Tell the novelists who think that rape is wonderful. Tell Larry Flynt. Tell Hugh Hefner. There’s no point in telling me. I’m only a woman. There’s nothing I can do about it. These men presume to speak for you. They are in the public arena saying that they represent you. If they don’t, then you had better let them know.
Then there is the private world of misogyny: what you know about each other; what you say in private life; the exploitation that you see in the private sphere; the relationships called love, based on exploitation. It’s not enough to find some traveling feminist on the road and go up to her and say: “Gee, I hate it.” Say it to your friends who are doing it. And there are streets out there on which you can say these things loud and dear, so as to affect the actual institutions that maintain these abuses. You don’t like pornography? I wish I could believe it’s true. I will believe it when I see you on the streets. I will believe it when I see an organized political opposition. I will believe it when pimps go out of business because there are no more male consumers. You want to organize men. You don’t have to search for issues. The issues are part of the fabric of your everyday lives.
just gonna say this: if someone has social anxiety and they ask you something akin to ‘are you mad at me’ or ‘do you hate me’, it isn’t because they don’t trust you, it’s because their brain literally tells them that all the time
it’s not a personal slight, it’s insecurity caused by mental illness
Don’t shame the girls who sent pictures of themselves half-naked to their significant others as a way to express eroticism which is healthy and natural… give the people hell who think it’s okay to destroy someone’s trust and distribute those images simply for entertainment purposes.
White American males constitute only 33% of the population. Yet, they occupy approximately:
- 80% of tenured positions in higher education
- 80% of the House of Representatives
- 80-85% of the U.S. Senate
- 92%of Forbes 400 executive CEO-level positions
- 90% of athletic team owners
- 97.7% of U.S. presidents
Good thing we solved sexism and racism u guise
(Source: , via ponylunchbox)
Anonymous asked: Do you have any recommendations for queer movies that end happily?
+ various additions:
Oh man, NOT ENOUGH.
I can rec these few that I’ve seen personally:
Imagine Me and You - LENA HEEEEAAADDDDEEEYYY
Guys and Balls - German comedy about a dude who puts together a gay football team to take on his hometown’s homophobic counterpart.
The Gymnast - It’s not a traditional “happy ever after” but it ends optimistically. Also AERIAL SILKS.
Shelter - I watched this with two girlfriends and we spent the entire movie fangirl flailing around in our PJs.
I Don’t Want to Go Back Alone (Portuguese: Eu Não Quero Voltar Sozinho) (on youtube here) - WATCH THIS IMMEDIATELY. It’s only about 20 minutes long but it’s disgustingly beautiful. They’re also filming a feature length version right now.
Hedwig and the Angry Inch - it’s a MUSICAL. A beautiful, beautiful musical!
The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert - If you haven’t seen this you need to look at your life and your choices.
Kinky Boots - Less sexuality, more gender identity and performance. I heart it so much.
And these two are next on my list (somebody come at me if I’m wrong about the happy ending thing):
Saving Face - A Chinese-American lesbian and her traditionalist mother are reluctant to go public with secret loves that clash against cultural expectations.
I love you Phillip Morris - A cop turns con man once he comes out of the closet. Once imprisoned, he meets the second love of his life, whom he’ll stop at nothing to be with. (EDIT: I have been told this does not end happily - DAMMIT!)
If anyone has any other additions to add to this list, PLEASE DO. I need ALL of the happy ending queer movies!
The Birdcage - I’ve seen this and it’s amazing. I’m offended with myself that I forgot to include it in my original list.
But I’m a Cheerleader - Ditto to the above
Mambo italiano - The son of Italian immigrants to Canada struggles to find the best way to reveal to his parents that he’s gay. (recced by anon)
Were the World Mine - A bullied and demoralized gay student at an all-boys school uses a magical flower derived from Shakespeare’s “A Midsummer Night’s Dream’ to turn many in his community gay, including a comely rugby player for himself. (recced by @starwilson)
Touch of Pink - A gay Canadian living in London has his perfectly crafted life upset when his devoutly Muslim mother comes to visit. (recced by @deviousness-carter)
Weekend - After a drunken house party with his straight mates, Russell heads out to a gay club. Just before closing time he picks up Glen but what’s expected to be just a one-night stand becomes something else, something special. (recced by @haleswallows - “the ending isn’t an “happily ever after” but is good none-the-less" )
I’d like to throw:
D.E.B.S -Spies and Criminals! Handcuffs! Fake Kidnappings! The movie also contains the line: “I didn’t even want to be a criminal I wanted to be a pirate!” Also it is wonderful and ends happily ever after. Honestly one of my favorite movies ever. Ignore the IMDB rating this movie is wonderful.
Make the Yuletide Gay About coming out to your family and make sense of the person you were and the person you are now. There are bunk beds and candy canes and Filthy jokes and a dad character who is stoned this entire film and joy to watch. The family stuff ends happily, the central gay male couple ends happily, you will end this movie feeling happy.
Maurice - a gay man in the Edwardian era struggles to come to terms with his sexuality.
Big Eden - after moving home to care for his ailing grandfather, a man finds love with the local storeowner (thanks to the ENTIRE TOWN’S matchmaking schemes.)
Private Romeo - Romeo and Juliet at all all-male military school. (Yes, it has a happy ending!)
Tipping the Velvet - a Victorian-era lesbian travels through London’s gay subculture.
Fire - a relationship begins between the a shopkeeper’s young wife and her older sister-in-law.